Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Heartache and Longing

I parked next to the evening receptionist’s car yesterday. Her bumper stickers include:

  1. Bush/Cheney 2004
  2. Happiness Is A Republican President
  3. My Belongs To A Trucker
On the passenger side seat, in plain view, was an open box of Tampax and a carton of Camel cigarettes. Oh, how I wish I could work up the nerve to ask her out on a date.

Truck Sellin’ Music

No more hits of the 80s. It took me a day and half to realize that the Sirius channel playing over the PA here had been switched to country music. No more absurd juxtapositions of 20+ year-old pop music and inane statements. Most of the things I overhear on the lot fall into line with a Nashville pop score. I’m disappointed, but heartened to know that I retain the ability to almost completely block out country music, as evidenced by the amount of time it took me to notice it.

Thursday, June 08, 2006



Dealership Quotes of the Day - Week of 06/05/06

“Looky here! What’d ya say there, Easy Money?”
--directed at me during Doctor! Doctor!, by Thompson Twins

“Y’all are a bunch of crooks.”
--overheard during Suddenly Last Summer, by The Motels

Friday, June 02, 2006

Dealership Quotes of the Day - Week of 05/29/06

More browbeatings and non-sequiturs, set to hits of the 1980s.

Coworker (unsolicited): “This packet of balloons here? These cost twenty dollars.”
Me: “They blow up into funny shapes?”
/confused silence
--directed at me during The Glamorous Life, by Sheila E.

The men’s room stall garbage can strikes again. I just noticed a discarded pair of tighty-whiteys sitting in the top of the receptacle. I can’t say whether they belonged to an employee or a customer. Most disturbing, however, is that I had an internal debate lasting 30-45 seconds about whether or not I should find something to prod the orphaned undergarment in order to survey the full extent of the damage necessitating abandonment. Someone send help.
--found during The Tide Is High, by Blondie

"It doesn't get more professional than a manager with Enter Sandman as his ringtone."
--said by me, during Rain in the Summertime, by The Alarm

"You need to get off your fat, fucking ass and get out there and move some metal."
--overheard during Heart and Soul, by Huey Lewis and the News