Friday, November 02, 2007

I Realize It's a Game Company, But Really?

I share a desk with a portly slob who works from 4PM to 3AM. As part of my daily routine, when I arrive at 5AM, I dampen a few paper towels and thoroughly wipe down the desktop, removing the grease stains and dandruff (copious amounts, usually) accumulated from the last shift. This morning, I came in to find four, 1 oz. canisters of Play-Doh (Ages 2+, per the label) stacked on the desk divider wall and my desktop was covered in tiny Play-Doh crumbs. Play-Doh!?! It's like bread dough, but you know, for kids. Because kids love to play with baked goods, at all stages of preparation. The black Play-Doh crumbs (pink and red were the other colors used) and the dandruff together resembled salt and pepper spilled by a giant (approximate giant size = 13 feet tall). At least that's what I told myself to make the clean up a slightly less repellent task. On my former team, the guy sitting next to me began every day by turning his keyboard upside down and shaking out the accumulated dandruff, pubes and miscellaneous human body detritus. Every day was Christmas.

Ironically (see below), Play-Doh is made in China, so I've probably had my USDA recommended daily allotment of lead already.

"What Do You Do for a Living?"

My recently formulated, concise, true answer:
"I punish people who have purchased virtual gold from Chinamen."