Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Bachelor Glory - July 2010

  1. Just fished a plastic googly eye out of my clothes dryer.
  2. I want to punch these street names in the face.
  3. At my local bar, just heard "vuvuzela" annunciated for the first time. I only read.
  4. Sources close to TJ Shroat expect him to announce on national Twitter, his plans to continue to live and work in Austin.
  5. Vegan dinner at the bar. Beer, waffle fries and salsa.
  6. Favorite table in Aranda's. Watched middle-aged hippie park his tiny pickup, pound 2 beers, and enter. His wife watched too.
  7. Watching New Pornographers at Stubb's. This band has owned my summer music rotation.
  8. BG distilled to its purest essence. Garlic potato chips, loud playlist and a looping drive to Marble Falls.
  9. Monthly Birthday Cake Day at a video game company...Oh, the humanity. I've got the sheet-cake sugar-shakes.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Love this movie. Filmed in southern Indiana, this movie looks and feels like my childhood summers in Louisville. Paul Dooley stands out as one of the all time great movie dads.

A comedy zombie movie that should appeal to non-zombie-movie-fans too. Great cameo, late in the film.

Most of what I know about The Doors came from the eponymous Oliver Stone film. This documentary fills in the gaps and made me appreciate how spot-on the casting was for Stone's movie. Still don't know if Morrison was a fool or a calculating social genius.

Reading the subtitles absolves me from having to read the wildly popular books, right? Contains several disturbing scenes of Swede-on-Swede violence. I liked the movie enough to want to see the other Swedish movie adaptations. You may want to wait for the American movie adaptation.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

World Cup Redux

I took a slightly more charitable view of this year's World Cup than I did in 2006. Slightly.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Parodies are rarely this meticulous. All the nuance of blaxploitation is captured: crappy film stock, boom mikes in the shot, wooden dialog...all intentional and at times, hilarious.

Silverman has built her reputation on being vulgar. The strength of this show, however, lies with the many subtle writing and acting choices in every episode. How sublime is this show? It now has the badge of honor worn by most hilarious television: cancelled after just three seasons.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Bachelor Glory - June 2010

  1. Tonight's dinner was quinoa, about 50 roasted in-shell peanuts and 30 cherries. Sorry to rub it in, married gents.
  2. Just purchased a yoga block. You know, so I can really open up my chest or something. Final piece of the puzzle, probably.
  3. This is the penultimate new, new brazenness.
  4. Just renewed shroat.com for another 2 years. No plans to do anything with it. Just managing and protecting my personal brand.
  5. I hope future cartoonists are able to convey my feelings of vague superiority with a graphic analogous to stink lines.
  6. Note to self - Figure out how to get paid for having good intellectual taste.
  7. Guy just told woman he was hitting on his uncle owned a slaughterhouse. Save some for the rest of us, buddy.
  8. 85% of my books have food stains on/in them. 75% of the stains are salsa based.
  9. Other patron just detailed her drinking schedule for the next 3 days. Hope she remembers time to self-loathe on day 4.
  10. She goes tubing a lot, so you know she's friendly, if you catch my drift.
  11. Yeah, that's right. Talk louder in public, about sports. They LOVE it.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Non Sequiturs - May 2010

I'm taking a break from this writing exercise, for awhile anyway. CBS still hasn't gotten back to me about turning these into a series.

Antonyms

  1. The opposite of "Lyle Lovett" is "short, squat faux-Texan".
  2. The opposite of "reading alone at a restaurant" is "public poolside yoga".
  3. The opposite of "twee" is "The National".
  4. The opposite of "satisfaction guaranteed" is "series finale".

This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.

  1. Lockhart, TX is vegan kryptonite.
  2. I've eaten there literally hundreds of times and still get service that can best be described as "not impolite".
  3. Hey, I'm just living this stereotype temporarily...I know I don't belong here.
  4. It's not a temper problem. It's a temper opportunity.
  5. My Surreal-o-Meter needle just tipped over into Dali.

Classic Grift
A public service to raise awareness of notable cons, flimflams, swindles, and cheats.

  1. Two Lurlenes Too Many
  2. The Aforementioned Afro-mention
  3. Door-to-Door Popsicle Repairman
  4. Deluxe All's-Well-that-Ends-Well Shuffle

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Another smart sci-fi movie, shot for relatively little money. I think it stumbles a little toward the end, but worth watching.

Pixar always has a few movies available for instant viewing. The best execution of talking dogs in any movie, ever.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Non Sequiturs - April 2010

Antonyms

  1. The opposite of "April Fool's Day" is "good old trusty Octobereen, who always tells the truth, except for that one time about your sister".
  2. The opposite of "Warren Buffet" is "Warren Zevon".
  3. The opposite of "vegan" is "my beloved Aranda's #3". Sigh.
  4. The opposite of "having a sweet tooth" is "having a potato chip tooth".
  5. The opposite of "ag exemption" is "virtual cyber-goat".

This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.

  1. She's got sort of a flapper look. She's also got a creepy robot vibe....Flapbot 5000.
  2. It tasted like wet hippie and passive aggression.
  3. Nothing is creepier than a sinewy adolescent triathlete.
  4. Do you think Constance Wendell-Sheaths will be as sexy as the name implies?

Classic Grift
A public service to raise awareness of notable cons, flimflams, swindles, and cheats.

  1. The Ol' Hey-We're-Playing-Tonight-Come-Check-Us-Out Flier
  2. Shifty's Tautological Fugue State
  3. Queasy-bait
  4. San Diego Welcomes GriftCon '87
  5. Nipsey Russell's Block of Shame

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Looks like episodes are being added a week after they premiere on Starz. Funniest comedy on TV.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Smart Sci-fi Edition
Most movies labelled as science fiction are really futuristic action movies. The movies below are all about ideas and characters. All were relatively low budget.

Made a lot of critic's top ten lists for 2009. Can't say enough good things about Sam Rockwell's performance.

Hasn't aged as well as I'd hoped, but manages to create a world that feels like 1988 (a bland year which shouldn't have a "feel"). The sound track of this movie is very effective.

A Scanner Darkly
Linklater's adaption of Philip K. Dick's paranoia classic is more drug movie than sci-fi. Worth watching to see trippy, roto-scoped Woody Harrelson and Robert Downey Jr.

Shot in Dallas, spare in both length and story, this movie was made for only $7000.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Lost in La Mancha
This documentary chronicles Terry Gilliam's failed attempt to film an adaptation of Don Quixote with Johnny Depp. All the more fascinating, now that Gilliam is trying to do it again, over a decade later, this time with Robert Duvall. One of the best documentaries ever about film-making.

The Salton Sea
Loved this tweeker-noir movie when I saw it in the theater and revisited it as a counterpoint to my current obsession with the excellent, similarly methamphetamine-themed Breaking Bad. Seemed a tad contrived on second viewing, but still worth watching for all the character actors in bizarre roles.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Non Sequiturs - March 2010

Antonyms

  1. The opposite of "bathtub meth" is "toilet tank hydroponics".
  2. The opposite of "tweezer" is "facial crescent wrench".
  3. The opposite of "cotillion" is "South by Southwest".
  4. The opposite of "South by Southwest heebie geebies" is "ACL Festival anticipation".
  5. The opposite of "nostalgia" is "meta".

This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.

  1. You're like my sense of humor's consigliere.
  2. My dating method? I just go out in public a bunch, then incessantly check Shot in the Dark / Missed Connections personal ads.
  3. Yeah, that's my brand of charm. Suave quirkiness.
  4. People listen to him. Guy's got aphorisms.
  5. No, I don't want to see Stomp. It's just youths in loose clothing, trying to percuss the mundane.

Classic Grift
A public service to raise awareness of notable cons, flimflams, swindles, and cheats.

  1. Solipsistic One-card Monte
  2. Duodenum for a Day
  3. Tall Shorty-Pants and the Less than Flattering Kerchief
  4. Top Shelf Boozahol with Bottom Shelf Company

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Not many people find themselves both the subject of a documentary and the basis for a fictional character (The Devil Wears Prada). Whatever you think about the utility of fashion in society, this film is an entertaining look into the industry.

SxSW excels in showcasing documentaries about the fringes of pop culture. This look at Harry Potter fandom was one of my favorites from SxSW 2008.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Bronson
This stylized biopic about Britain's most violent prisoner is at times hilarious and disturbing. Tom Hardy, the lead actor, is going to be huge here eventually.

Slacker
Almost 20 years old, Linklater's Austin classic gets a biannual revisit from me. A recognizable location changes with every viewing.

Part stand up, part music, part sketch, Sarah Silverman is the Lenny Bruce of our generation.

Breaking Bad: Season 2
Not available for instant viewing, but worth moving up in your DVD/Blu-ray queue. Initially, I thought this show was an interesting cross between The Wire and Weeds. I'm now halfway through the second season and think it's one of the best shows currently on TV. Bryan Cranston is amazing in the lead role and his Emmy for best actor was well deserved.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Two very different documentaries, with two unique villains:

The King of Kong
Billy Mitchell, the villain in this rivalry for Donkey Kong dominance, defies description. Fiction can't do better.

Cocaine Cowboys
Explores cocaine trafficking in the early 80s in Miami and lays most of the violence at the feet of an insecure woman.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

The Royal Tenenbaums
Rushmore is not available for instant viewing, but Wes Anderson's 2nd best movie is almost as good. So many subtle, hilarious moments. I can't believe this movie is 9 years old. With the notable exceptions of Bill Murray and Alec Baldwin (the narrator), no one involved with this movie has been better since.

Visioneers
This is a tepid recommendation at best. Some funny concepts here, but this movie would have been better as a 20 minute short film. That said, it might be more enjoyable to watch this film in chunks. Zach Galifianakis has a future as a serious character actor.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Man on Wire
The winner for Best Documentary of 2008 is maybe the best caper film I've ever seen. Despite knowing the outcome, I was on the edge of my seat. Surprisingly moving as well.

Cool Hand Luke
Paul Newman, a man's man, can eat 50 eggs. That's all anyone needs to know before watching his best film.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Non Sequiturs - February 2010

Antonyms
  1. The opposite of "spring in my step" is "winter in my neck".
  2. The opposite of "workday drudgery" is "donut euphoria".
  3. The opposite of "optimism" is "regularly going three days in between shaves".
  4. The opposite of "nattering nabobs" are "hobnobbing Jim Bobs".

This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.
  1. I don't want to get too drum-circle with all this.
  2. Sometimes, I get the feeling that I'm on the cusp of awesome. But mostly, I'm driving the slow bus to Avuncularville.
  3. The appearance of being a nice guy is far more enjoyable than actually being a nice guy.
  4. Nah, you don't want to spread your mother's ashes there. You'll end up with spreader's remorse.

Classic Grift

A public service to raise awareness of notable cons, flimflams, swindles, and cheats.
  1. Doctor Floofnuppin and His Atomic Grope-fingers
  2. Skullcap for Two
  3. A Licorice Chapeau on Layaway
  4. Steve Jobs and the Ill-fitting iCravat

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Roku Picks of the Week

Worthwhile viewing available instantly on Netflix.

Paris, Je T'aime
Short films, all set in Paris, by some big time directors (including the Coen Brothers, Alexander Payne and Alfonso CuarĂ³n). Makes me wish there was more of a market for short films.

Let the Right One In
It takes a lot for me to recommend a horror movie. It takes a lot for me to recommend a Swedish movie. This film cleared both bars.

Super High Me
More than just an amusing stunt.


Previous picks:
Harvard Beats Yale 29-29
This documentary isn't really a sports story. The casual name dropping in this film is unbelievable. Ivy Leaguers rule the planet.

Second Skin
I saw this documentary at SxSW in 2008. Seems a little quaint now, but if you're curious about my typical customers and coworkers, check it out. Entertaining.

Party Down: Season 1
I've already recommended this to most of you. It's among the funniest shows on TV.

49 Up
Fascinating in concept and execution.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Non Sequiturs - January 2010

Antonyms
  1. The opposite of "victory riot" is "broken quarterback".
  2. The opposite of "Deep Eddy" is "chlorinated hobo".
  3. The opposite of "seething rage" is "seething insomnia".
  4. The opposite of "youth" is "painful, mystery thumb split".

This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.
  1. I'm going to be a lot more aggressive with my words this year. Score or draw the foul.
  2. Mexican Breakfast. Not just my favorite breakfast. My favorite meal.
  3. Managing a baseball team is the dove hunting of coaching.
  4. I'm embarrassed, but it worries me that I'm not more embarrassed.
  5. I will go from zero to Chet on the next person that suggests I volunteer for Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Classic Grift

A public service to raise awareness of notable cons, flimflams, swindles, and cheats.
  1. The New, New Fagshoes Varney
  2. Wait, What? 2: The Huh-ing
  3. Non-Dairy Yogurt-Eyes Only for You