Friday, July 31, 2009

Non Sequiturs - July 2009

Antonyms
  1. The opposite of "buying a Porsche" is "Twittering about rain".
  2. The opposite of "restraining order" is "inappropriate Facebook liking".
  3. The opposite of "Star Wars" is "Rickrolling".
  4. The opposite of "acting decisively" is "living a double modal life".
  5. The opposite of "perceived wisdom" is "Apollo denial".
  6. The opposite of "big fat bully" is "grammar nerd".
This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.
  1. You're so dumb, you had your butt shown on the news.
  2. There aren't any dangers associated with undercooked pork. That's why it's called The Other Antibiotic.
  3. See? I should never have let my subscription to High Times lapse.
  4. Nothing is sadder than a pregnant waitress.
  5. You never meet an Indian Indian. I don't know anyone named Gupta Tallfeathers.
  6. We employ a lot of people nicknamed "Floop".
  7. He's rich enough to always have a guy carrying a tray in his house.
  8. Half the people here wish they were Japanese. The other half wish they were manga.

Accomplishments - July 2009

Crossed off from my Google To Do List. If 2009 is still hoping to crack my top ten favorite years, it's got a lot of ground to make up in the next five months.

July 2009

  1. GET BOOTS
  2. Arbitron
  3. Insomnia remedy for J
  4. I Love Movies
  5. Spoon in July
  6. crazy pdf
  7. Shaun Tan - Simply Read Books
  8. Drive Car
  9. Blizzcon Tix
  10. Astro City
  11. Leonard Maltin game
  12. Haircut
  13. jayz + radiohead
  14. Happy Factor
  15. Dead Weather and Son Volt
  16. SWOT - print plan
  17. Pocket MBA

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Spoetry - Unexplained Phenomena

Each line was the title (with original spelling) of a spam email.
Arrangement, (some) punctuation and poem title by TJ Shroat.

Unexplained Phenomena
US Air Force admits UFO facility.
'Human Zoo' Set To Open Inn Shanghai.
Aguilera's scars on butt.
Local priest killed fagot.
Man kicks car, gets shot.
Can you summorize this?
I love you?

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Spoetry - Serendipity

Each line was the title (with original spelling) of a spam email.
Arrangement, (some) punctuation and poem title by TJ Shroat.

Serendipity
Condom Standards Convention 2007...
How can you explain it?
Pleasant night,
I saw your sister.
She took a golden ball.
My golden ball fell into the water.
And my jug without a handle.
Just like i told you.
Now explain me that!