- The opposite of "spring in my step" is "winter in my neck".
- The opposite of "workday drudgery" is "donut euphoria".
- The opposite of "optimism" is "regularly going three days in between shaves".
- The opposite of "nattering nabobs" are "hobnobbing Jim Bobs".
This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.
- I don't want to get too drum-circle with all this.
- Sometimes, I get the feeling that I'm on the cusp of awesome. But mostly, I'm driving the slow bus to Avuncularville.
- The appearance of being a nice guy is far more enjoyable than actually being a nice guy.
- Nah, you don't want to spread your mother's ashes there. You'll end up with spreader's remorse.
A public service to raise awareness of notable cons, flimflams, swindles, and cheats.
- Doctor Floofnuppin and His Atomic Grope-fingers
- Skullcap for Two
- A Licorice Chapeau on Layaway
- Steve Jobs and the Ill-fitting iCravat