- The opposite of "Twitter" is "Tolstoyer", which I have recently installed on my iPhone.
- The opposite of "zombie" is "any other topic".
- The opposite of "quinceaƱera" is "colonoscopy".
- The opposite of "puppy" is "grackle".
- The opposite of "hangnail" is "stigmata".
- The opposite of "South by Southwest hipster" is "Promise Keeper".
- The opposite of Rod Stewart is Ira Glass.
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.
- That makes me so goddamn mad, I want to punch someone in their mother.
- "Is that guy wearing a gi?" "Nah, he has to perform a splenectomy tomorrow."
- Very few bands have achieved a midget tribute band level of fame.
- That's a lot of bandying of the word "tincture".
- Grace and I have been working a classic frosting grift on you.