Non Sequiturs - March 2009

Antonyms

1. The opposite of "Twitter" is "Tolstoyer", which I have recently installed on my iPhone.
2. The opposite of "zombie" is "any other topic".
3. The opposite of "quinceañera" is "colonoscopy".
4. The opposite of "puppy" is "grackle".
5. The opposite of "hangnail" is "stigmata".
6. The opposite of "South by Southwest hipster" is "Promise Keeper".
7. The opposite of Rod Stewart is Ira Glass.

This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.

1. That makes me so goddamn mad, I want to punch someone in their mother.
2. "Is that guy wearing a gi?" "Nah, he has to perform a splenectomy tomorrow."
3. Very few bands have achieved a midget tribute band level of fame.
4. That's a lot of bandying of the word "tincture".
5. Grace and I have been working a classic frosting grift on you.