- The opposite of Bruce Springsteen is Klaus Nomi.
- The opposite of "cauliflower ear" is "rutabaga eyelid".
- The opposite of Rube Goldberg is IKEA.
- The opposite of "welcome mat" is "bus ticket to Fistville".
- The opposite of "kosher" is "Catholic fish fry".
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.
- It was okay. I guess I was expecting a lot more velvet.
- These taste insulationy.
- Are you flaunting your wedding ring at me? Your metal circlet of not-dying-alone?
- Green pepper is the creepy uncle of vegetables.
- I enjoy my life in retrospect.
- On the plus side, I'll be able to whistle and hum with impunity for the rest my life. That'll keep me warm at night.
- I'm at that point in my life. I'm thirty-eight. It's either amulet, or get out.
- "F__k" is the Led Zeppelin of swears.