Thursday, April 30, 2009

Non Sequiturs - April 2009

  1. The opposite of Bruce Springsteen is Klaus Nomi.
  2. The opposite of "cauliflower ear" is "rutabaga eyelid".
  3. The opposite of Rube Goldberg is IKEA.
  4. The opposite of "welcome mat" is "bus ticket to Fistville".
  5. The opposite of "kosher" is "Catholic fish fry".
This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.
  1. It was okay. I guess I was expecting a lot more velvet.
  2. These taste insulationy.
  3. Are you flaunting your wedding ring at me? Your metal circlet of not-dying-alone?
  4. Green pepper is the creepy uncle of vegetables.
  5. I enjoy my life in retrospect.
  6. On the plus side, I'll be able to whistle and hum with impunity for the rest my life. That'll keep me warm at night.
  7. I'm at that point in my life. I'm thirty-eight. It's either amulet, or get out.
  8. "F__k" is the Led Zeppelin of swears.

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