Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Non Sequiturs - August 2009


  1. The opposite of "emotional roller-coaster" is "moribund tilt-a-whirl".
  2. The opposite of "bittersweet Facebook announcement" is "celebratory subpoena ".
  3. The opposite of "stiff upper lip" is "fatty in a walking cast".
  4. The opposite of "handy around the house" is "prolific wordsmith".
  5. The opposite of "guesstimate" is "certainticorn". Neither word should be uttered by an assistant DA.
  6. The opposite of "civic duty" is "celebratory subpoena".

This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.

  1. My uncle died of barbecue-lung after toiling for years in the pork mines.
  2. Richard Linklater's IMDb entry is the most comforting page to open Safari to. It's my iPhone homepage.
  3. In an efficient mood market, I'd be happy.
  4. Whenever someone says comedy is tragedy plus time, I think about the Hindenburg, and how funny it is to me.
  5. Denture cream commercials led me to believe old people spent all their time smoking cigarettes and eating blueberries.
  6. At this very moment, for no discernible reason, I feel really, really great. I give it another three minutes.
  7. "Why?" can be a troubling question to wonder about others here. So many people making puzzling choices.

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