Non Sequiturs - October 2009

Antonyms

1. The opposite of "ACL Fest" is "Freaknik".
2. The opposite of "39" is "21".
3. The opposite of "What's that Lassie? Timmy fell down a well?" is "balloon hoax".
4. The opposite of "impunity" is "my parents on Facebook".
5. The opposite of "moral fiber" is "Montezuma's complete lack of restraint".

This Was Said©

Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.

1. Ibuprofen is the cilantro of analgesics.
2. You guys should hire me as Vice President of Creep Vibe.
3. Charging $1.25 for something is so much classier than charging $1.00 or $.99.
4. Ham is the loss leader of existence.
5. And yet, I'm no happier than Australopithecus.

Classic Grifts©
A public service to raise awareness of notable cons, flimflams, swindles, and cheats.

1. A Half King of Prussia with Pants Akimbo
2. Frequent Flier and the Carry-on Turnip
3. El Chupacabra, Mediumfoot and the Cryptozoologist