Best of Twitter - November 2011

• Does anyone already get Mexican Popsicle Aficionado magazine? Feel like I won't get value from a full year subscription.
• Coffee-shop-based work allows me to have colleagues like the woman who just entered with part of a headboard & a container of grits. #MBA
• Friends didn't set their kitchen clock back, then used it to run a bedtime scam on their 3 kids. Passing that info along to Kidz Wikileaks.
• Maker of Awesome Mix Tapes for Gasoline Marauding in the Wasteland #PostApocalypticJobsICanDo
• Bishop in the Fundamentalist Church of Steve Martin #PostApocalypticJobsICanDo
• Post Apocalyptic Jobs I Can Do - http://t.co/8C6GdcZ5 - #PostApocalypticJobsICanDo
• Pity the hipster who has to enunciate: "I'm in a The National cover band."
• If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, the leading contender for my gravestone epitaph: "He never responded to a crisis by growing a ponytail."
• The "Linoleum-tooth Lonnie Takes a Wife" #ClassicGrift
• Quinoa and lentils for dinner, alone, at home. This must be what it feels like to own a Prius.
• Teaching 8 year old how to play 20 questions. Her 1st question: "Is it lovely?"
• “Would a peanut dilettante put already roasted peanuts in the oven for additional roasting?” - not as debonair when I said it out loud
• No one at this Walmart seems to want to talk about Benjamin Banneker, Harriet Tubman or Langston Hughes. #BlackHistoryFriday
• Once asked by a 4 y.o. which I liked better, orange juice or Batman. Started to give lecture on false dichotomies, then settled on Batman.
• I remember when we didn't have to dig up a bunch of mistresses to stop ourselves from nominating a black guy. - some old Republican
• I'm still convinced that 85% of the bicycling in this town is affectation-based. #FestoonedWithFauxSponsors