Tuesday, July 10, 2007

What’s in the Fridge?

After the runaway success of my other intermittent blog features like “I Have a Dream” and “Overheard/Seen at the Coffeehouse” (Pulitzer has added this as a new award category. I’ll probably win for the first three or four years, until the rest of the literary community catches up.), I’ve decided to add a new feature that chronicles what I encounter in the various refrigerators around the office of the gaming company where I am currently (and hopefully, only temporarily) employed.

Initially, the only refrigerator in the building was a sliding glass door beverage display case, usually found in gas stations and convenience marts. Therefore, lunch choices were on display for all to see. They’ve since added three standard kitchen refrigerators. Killjoys.

Here are items I’ve seen multiple times in the fridge:

Hot Pockets – Microwaves are the most computer-y of cooking appliances and Hot Pockets (and their generic knockoffs) are the quintessential lazy, microwavable food. I’ve seen the same guy burn the roof of his mouth with a boiling Hot Pocket three times in three and a half weeks.

Leftover Pizza – No surprise here. However, rather than bringing the two or three pieces remaining from last night’s dinner in foil or in a sealable container, my coworkers bring them in the original, large pizza box and jam it into any available crevice.

Arby’s – Gamers are a frugal lot when it comes to anything without a chip or software. I’ve long held the theory that Arby’s has never made a sale to a non-coupon-presenting customer. Therefore, everyone making an Arby’s purchase is buying 4 sandwiches for $5 or 5 sandwiches for $7, or some other bulk purchase. Sandwiches 3 through 6 get eaten for lunch the next day.

Frappuccinos – Specifically, venti Frappuccinos. More specifically, the whip-cream-caked, napkin-wrapped, dirty-straw-sporting cup, with only the last inch of drink remaining.

Keep in mind, I’ve seen each of the proceeding items at least three times.

However, my favorite fridge encounter so far was my discovery last week of an open bag of Funyuns, sitting all alone on the top shelf of a recently installed Amana. As every Funyun connoisseur knows (and I’m sure I work at the company with the highest percentage of employees who are Funyun connoisseurs in Austin, and maybe all of Central Texas), the deep-fried, onion-flavored chip is best enjoyed after opening the bag to let them breath, then chilling them to perfection.

So anyway, I’m still looking for another job.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

New post please.