Monday, June 01, 2009

Non Sequiturs - May 2009

  1. The opposite of "patience" is TJ Shroat.
  2. The opposite of "faux-hawk" is "faux-comb-over".
  3. The opposite of "visceral experience" is "candied hope".
  4. The opposite of "drunken hobo" is "fastidious Webelos".
  5. The opposite of "lemon zester" is "radish malaiser".
  6. The opposite of "optimistic world view" is "pessimistic narcissism".
This Was Said©
Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.
  1. More ass hair than a Guantánamo Bay toilet seat.
  2. I don't want beer served in a Sizzler plastic cup.
  3. "Omelet" always looks like it's spelled wrong.
  4. I'm doing well. My glass is half-full...of mercury.
  5. I'm on my hands and knees, looking at a toilet bowl full of hubris.
  6. It's like drinking out of a Georgia mud puddle.
  7. St. Ramen is the patron saint of dying alone.

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