Non Sequiturs - December 2009

Antonyms

1. The opposite of "fruition" is "snow day".
2. The opposite of "toothpaste and orange juice smoothie" is "used band-aid stew".
3. The opposite of "eggnog" is "yolk-toasties".
4. The opposite of "infamy" is "lesbian beard-approval".

This Was Said©

Perfectly sensible sentences uttered by me, now stripped of all context.

1. I think it's time for me to grab the horns by the balls and REALLY get some stuff done in my life.
2. Man, I wish that I could still live in Austin AND work at a pickle factory.
3. He's got a bum emotional leg.
4. If you do decide to display it, own it. Don't make it kitschy. Yeah, this is my effing lava lamp.

Classic Grifts©
A public service to raise awareness of notable cons, flimflams, swindles, and cheats.

1. The Pubescent Octogenarian
2. Mötley Scrüebällz
3. Lookie Loo with a Side of Minor Bruising
4. Christmas
5. What? Deez Nutz?